Wardrobe Malfunction
by Urimizo
Summary: Princess Bubblegum attends a party and experiences a few setbacks in doing so. Oneshot.


"Gah, I don't see why I have to go to this stupid party, Peppermint Butler!" Princess Bubblegum groaned, dressing herself in front of her mirror. The sun shined bright, yellow rays into the royal's room through an open window. After being woken up early, the Princess was instructed she had to give a speech that afternoon at a party for one of the members of the Lollipop family. This was approximately the fifth one this month, and had had enough of the whole party scene.

"It's your job as Princess of the Candy Kingdom to ensure that everyone knows you care about them! And the best way to do that is to attend this party!" Her giant peppermint candy butler chimed, sitting behind a curtain separating the two.

"They already know I care about all of them! My head hurts and I can't…seem…to get this globbing dress to fit!" The gummy ruler's silhouette bounced around, trying to pull the collar of her dress past her head, standing around in her underwear. Not the best scene for a woman like her to be seen in. The more she struggled, the sourer of a mood she was in.

"What do you mean it doesn't fit? It's a brand new, freshly washed dress!" He argued, sitting up in his little chair. "Do you need me to assist you, Princess?"

"NO!" She boomed. "Just…just get out! I'll meet you downstairs, okay? Tell them I'll be right down!"

"Fine. Fine." He said, jumping down and heading towards the door. "Probably doesn't fit because of all those sweets you've been eating…" He swore under his breath.

"What was that?!"

"Urr, nothing! Nothing, Your Highness!" He fake a laugh and left in a hurry, shutting the door behind him. Now the Princess was left alone with her only her thoughts to accompany her.

"Freaking glomp…" She looked around the curtain to make sure he wasn't hiding again and stepped out, standing out in the open in her bra and underwear. "Stupid dress, stupid party! Stupid Lollipops! AH!" With a huff, she looked at herself in the mirror again, looking at her figure. "I haven't put on that much weight, have I?" Her frame was just as it had been for years. She pushed up her chest, seeing if they had grown any, sure that if she had wanted to enhance or downgrade any part of her she'd probably be able to do it in her lab with the help of some scrap candy. "He's just crazy. Screw it, I'll just get another one."

She discarded the fabric next to her bed and darted for her closet, throwing open the doors. Newly pressed, pink dresses were laid out with precision and the girl picked up one with a zipper in the back. Sitting back on her bed, she stepped into the gown and pulled it up to waist level, inserting her arms into the sleeves before the rest came up. When her hands pulled up the zipper, it stuck midway, making her teeth grind.

"Glob dangit! What's wrong with these things?!" She was about to throw off the whole thing when an idea came to her. Her hands went behind her again, but to the hooks of her bra. Unclasping it, she threw it with her old dress. "Nobody would notice anyway, right?" She told herself, less in confidence and more in reassurance. Thankfully it wasn't that cold outside. Even without the presence of the white garment, the Princess had to hold in her breath to make sure the zipper rolled up to the back of her neck. With a victorious release of breath, she lowered her hair to hide it and stood upright.

"Geez! I can barely breath in this thing!" She looked at herself in the mirror, she looked so…stiff. Like she was standing upright against a wall. Her breasts were pressed against her in such a way that even breathing felt more labored. Her legs could barely make a stride, forcing her to take smaller steps. "Maybe I have put on some weight…just a little…?" She had no time to debacle further as the sounds of a scurrying crowd made her remember where she was supposed to be. "Do it for them, PB. Do it for them!" She recited, adjusting her chest again to alleviate the pressure, but to no avail. "Just pretend to dance for a bit, drink some punch, give a speech, and then get out of this thing!" The lady turned awkwardly and made her way for the door, hoping that soft tearing sound was just her imagination.

The crowd met her with an uproar of cheers, applause, and crying. She gave a meek little smile and wave to them to calm their lust. Her biggest fear was having to engaging in a conversation and losing what little breath she could spare. She stepped off the stairs to a crowd of sweets, all garnering for her attention. She tried to divide up her attention equally for them all in attempt to die down the crowd a little to allow her to get some elbow room, but the onslaught kept up. Hands were shoved in her face to shake and the latest news of someone's trip to the Pumpkin Kingdom or another's latest advancement on their novel of fantastic spoon designs.

"People, people, please! Let me get some punch and I'll be right back!" Worming her way through the crowd, she heard the same phantom ripping sound again, chalking it up as a partygoer noticing her plight and mocking her.

The crowd began to dissipate, heading out to the dance floor to shake their money-makers or whatever it is candy people possess to earn income. The Princess let out a strained sigh of relief seeing the attention hounds had moved away, allowing her easy access to the snack table.

"The room is too stuffy, and this dress isn't helping! Glob I need a drink…" She grabbed one of the unused paper cups and turned her head to see the punchbowl dancing along to the beat of the house music. "Hey!" She called to get its attention. The glassware looked at her with crossed eyes and a gap-toothed smile. "Quit sloshing around and let me pour myself a drink!" She went to grab the ladle, but the bowl, obviously in a state of mental unrest, thought she was playing some game with her. He jumped over her hand and ran behind her. "HEY!" Her hand slammed in front of him, scaring the poor thing as it jumped up in fright. Unfortunately, it jumped up a bit too high and landed on his side. The punch it was holding spilt out, drenching the Princess in fruity, sugar water. She stood up in shock, watching her dress soak up the liquid, staining the fabric and attached it to her figure even further. Her cheeks flared with both anger and embarrassment. She opened her mouth to unleash a hellish maelstrom of swear words and derogatory statements, but the music abruptly died down.

"And now, to give a few words on this wondrous occasion!" Peppermint Butler declared, standing up on a stool to reach a podium at the front of the crowd. He extended a hand towards the direction of the Princess, red water streaming down the front of her dress. "Princess! Bubblegum!" The crowd broke out in applause as they all turned towards their idol. The ruler looked at them flabbergasted. If she wasn't in such a public setting, she would've started to tear up at this point. The people demanded a speech, so she had to step up to the role and deliver it to them. She took a step forward in front of their scanning gazes, feeling them begin to notice that something was amiss, that she seemed…off. This time, however, she couldn't keep lying to herself. The fabric holding her modesty intact was straining with each slight move she made, and the punch certainly didn't help at all. Those tearing noises earlier were coming from her dress, trying to shed itself off of her like a layer of skin. She had to get out of here and away from everyone as fast as possible.

After what seemed like an eternity of tiny footsteps and awkward eye contact, she approached the podium and shooed away her candy butler. The applause once again died down to allow her to speak. Princess Bubblegum cleared her throat, feeling the threads around her shoulders break, her face darkened again as she did her best to ignore it.

"My fellow candy people…" She began. Even with those words she could tell only a few of the people closest to the stand could hear her. The mic was lowered to accommodate her butler to give his introduction and wasn't fixed for her. She raised up her arms and lowered herself to adjust the device, pulling it up to her height. "There we go. My fellow candy peopl-!" The sound of clothing shredding was picked up by the microphone and carried across the room into the ears of the partygoers. The clothing had given up its fruitless struggle and fell apart; her breasts burst out, getting some much needed air. The seams running down her thighs split, showing off more leg than ever intended. The bits covering her hips were shredded, exposing her lacey, white underwear. What was left covering the Princess could hardly be considered rags. She stood frozen, unable to utter a single noise other than a soft cry, feeling her cheeks burn hotter than ever before.

THE NIGHT PRIOR…

A giddy Cinnamon Bun had sneaked around the Banana Guards into the lower parts of the castle. He liked coming down here because of how the torch lights flickered and the shadows danced along the wafer walls like children at recess. He peered in one room, hearing the sounds of machines whirring. Noticing no one was around, he popped in to see wondrous, square-shaped devices vibrating rapidly. In the center of each one were pink vortexes, spinning hypnotically. The spherical sweet chortled heartily and climbed atop one of them. The warm platform was soothing and the vibrations just added an additional layer of fun to the experience.

"Wheeee!" He bellowed, his voice full of happiness found only in those that have experienced pure exuberance. The machine was obviously some sort of ride intended for him; why else would it be there? Soon after however, the ride stopped. The candy man-child began to have a mental breakdown before he spotted the dial on top of the machine. He turned it in hopes of returning his ride back to life, and it worked! He cheered and jumped up and down at his cleverness and perched himself back on, riding it until her lost track of the hours and had to be thrown out by Banana Guards who found him lying asleep on top of it.


End file.
